It's Not Always About The Winning...

This morning my 9-year old said in her soft little voice, "Mommy, I don't think I won the election" as we drove through the drop off line at school. My heart sank. I told her that if she doesn't win then she doesn't and we can always try again next year. She said she knows but I could tell there was a part of her that was excited about winning and sad to lose. I knew a part of her little excited heart would be crushed. And as her mom, so would mine.

I know this feeling all to well. Many of us do. We try hard at something and give it our all. We become positive and ready to come out on top and then we get the news: We didn't make it. Either it was a diet we attempted, a relationship we tried to salvage, a project we began, an election or an idea- whatever it was that took place did not end in success. Or did it?

Many of us fall short of ourselves. We do not give ourselves the credit we deserve and when we fail we punish ourselves in many ways. One way in which we punish ourselves is through verbal and emotional abuse TO ourselves. This is the conversation that takes place inside that no one else ever hears. In fact, if other people heard us speaking to ourselves in this we would shock a lot of people.

We tell ourselves that "we were never meant to succeed anyway. We are losers. Why did we even try? We knew we weren't going to make it. We are completely stupid for thinking we were destined for greatness. How pathetic we are! We should just return to the cave we came from and sleep in the bed that we made. In this lifetime I am destined to suffer and stay right where I am. It must be a karmic debt or something. I must be the example for everyone else. My father was right, I am a loser."

I have to disagree with these statements. Why do I speak of these statements clearly and with such conviction? Because I use these very same statements with myself. These statements seem to come from a little alien that sits on my right shoulder. It is my job to shut the mouth of this alien and fill my thoughts and mind with more positive words. I expect others to speak to me with love and respect. Why should I expect anything different from myself?

The school election experience that took place this morning made me imagine my daughter saying these same statements to herself. I became protective and angry. What if she spoke to herself in the same way we speak to ourselves? This made me want to crumble. Our children are smart, beautiful, able and bright little beings! There is no failure that is so great that would warrant such comments. Look at some of the "failures" you have experienced. Now, look at the ways you spoke to yourself after you "failed." There is no failure so great that would warrant such comments for you as well. You are smart, beautiful, able and bright beings!

What we teach our children we must practice ourselves. The update? She did not win the election. I will be picking her up from school in a little while and I will be teaching her that her efforts and dreams of winning are what make her a success daily! There are hundreds of kids who never run for office because of fear and it took courage for her to make the posters and run for treasurer. Courage is a winner to me. And you know what? We try again. Maybe treasurer isn't for her. Maybe a certain diet or project isn't for you. Now, you try again but in a different way. Like a bumper car. You hit and bounce and go again. It's all about the ride and never the desitination. And look at all of the things you learned along the way!

So as our elections are lost or our victories fade and our paintings becomes watered, remember one thing: Give yourself credit where credit is due. Stop speaking negatively to someone who doesn't deserve to be spoken to that way: Yourself. Love yourself for trying. Love yourself for being and look in the mirror and say, "I did it!" It's not always about the winning as much as it is about the trying and the learning. What we learn through our losses can never compare to what we learn from our winnings.

xoxo -ac

Do Not Be Confused by The New Year! ;)

And so it begins. A new year. A new you? Probably not... Yet.

Chances are that we are the exact same person at 12:01am New Years day as we were at 11:59pm New Years Eve. So what is it that changes? What is it exactly that is new? It's hope. For some reason there is a new found hope that arrives with the new year. It begins to get antsy around 11:45pm New Years Eve and bounces out with a hat and a shimmering cane at 12:00am New Years Day.

With hope comes possibility and with possibility comes opportunity. Here is where we find the opportunities to slim down, shape up and begin... again.

And you know what? We can! We can do anything as long as we have hope. With hope, we find the courage, strength and positivity to welcome in what we couldn't welcome in before. With hope we believe. With believing we find faith. With faith all things are possible. Are all things easy? No. They didn't become easy last New Years day or the one before, but they become possible. Why? Because we have hope.

As the New Year begins, we stand tall and optimistic. "This is MY year," we remind ourselves. And we are correct. This IS your year as every year is your year and every day is your day. The New Year just helps us shake off the old as we become ready for the new. Many of us need "the new." We want "the new" and have prayed for "the new." So, let's begin "the new." Today may look alot like the day before New Years Eve. It may even feel the same. Do not be confused. It truly is the same. But today is the present. Today you can do anything your heart desires. There is NOTHING stopping you. And if there is someone or something stopping you then ask yourself this: Why? Why are they stopping you? How are they stopping you? Are you allowing it? Have you allowed it? What would remove them from stopping you? Would this create change? Are you afraid of change? This is the biggest question yet:

ARE YOU AFRAID OF CHANGE?

Chances are that many of us decide NOT to decide because deciding means that certain actions will create change. Change in a relationship, situation, job, family... What happens once it all changes? The unknown. That darn unknown peeks its head up again and paralyzes many of us. But remember, NEW YEAR. New YOU. New hope! New courage! New faith! When we have faith, we just "know" that the unknown will be okay. And it will. Look at all of the unkowns that have taken place before. You have survived them. Situations that you were sure were going to get the best of you turned out to turn you into a survivor. The results that were preferred became victories and those that did not became lessons. You learned. You learn.

This year, take those unknowns and face them IF they are stopping you from achieving what it is that your heart and soul desires. Have the faith and practice this faith. This faith is required so that we can dream big and live our dreams. Learn from the old and find comfort in change. Change can become your best friend. Sometimes the lack of necessary change can become your biggest enemy- the one thing you vow to change each new year. Many of us want immediate results but not too many of us are willing to dig deep and handle the core issues that stop these changes from truly taking place. I often have clients that work hard to discover themselves. They take classes, lose weight, journal, meditate, begin working out, buy new clothes... but they never end the emotionally abusive marriage that they have been in for over 15 years. That same relationship that creates the environment that these "changed" people live in each day. If someone or something is NOT changing and there is a proven pattern that can support this, then you need to be the one to make healthy changes. Many people go to therapy and give it time. I agree with trying. But when there is only one half of the two who are trying and nothing changes then a decision needs to be made and an action needs to take place. There is no such thing as a failure. Think about what you will be failing or quitting? An unhappy and unhealthy relationship? I am all for being a "failure" at walking away from something that is unhealthy. I raise my glass to that. This can include other relationships as well: job, friendships, family, behaviors... Whatever is stopping your from growing needs to be repositioned on or removed from your path.   

Walk away from what is unhealthy and create what is healthy... for you. This IS your year. Your year to change what you can and welcome in what is yours. Will it be easy. Not always. It may be emotional and hard. But you have friends and family and support and me. We can get through the changes together. That is the best part about sharing and showing up. When we share, we discover there are many people who are going through the same things that we are. We discover unity and connection. 

This year do not be confused. There is nothing magical about January 1st other than that the magic exists within you, every day every year. Because of you, there is magic. When you live life based on your dreams, your heart and your desires, you create magic and you create hope for others just as others have done for you. Happy New Year. Happy New YOU! Happy New Hope and happy discovery of faith. Faith and hope go hand in hand and we are never without either one of them. The only time in which we feel we have lost hope and faith is when we give into our fears. Fears are paralyzing for they go hand in hand with the "unknown." But... the unknown has brought you here. The unknown can bring you to many more beautiful places; places that have been waiting for your arrival.

Love and Light in 2011 and always, 

April Claxton

http://www.themovementwithin.com/ 

Oprah Radio's Derrick Ashong LIVE on TMW Radio today 6:30p EST!

Click below to listen:
The Derrick Ashong Experience

Good morning big beautiful bright world!
I am excited, nervous, ready, frustrated...
A woman's Monday! :D

I am getting ready for my interview with Oprah Radio's Derrick Ashong today on The Movement Within Radio at 6:30p EST on blogtalkradio.com.

I have 20 minutes to speak with him and I want to use that 20 minutes to bring to you, the listener, the most that I can. He is an amazing man and I am so blessed to be able to have this opportunity. It is not for me. It is for you. So, questions are spinning around in my mind. What? Who? Why? Where? But most importantly, I want to know what inspires an individual to make such a Movement Within the world- in honor and promotion of humanity? To Move so wonderfully throughout the world to promote things that matter?
Derrick's comment about his radio show is, "This is radio with a conscience." I love that. His energy. His work. His mission has a conscience. He is making a difference by discussing things that matter. This is important. All too often, we forget and neglect each other. We each matter.
Today, I want to discuss with Derrick why his Movement. Why? Why is it important to bring light to things that we often don't discuss or we are afraid of discussing. Why is he pulled to make a difference as a song for all people?
I, personally, like to break through barriers. I feel some barriers are meant to be broken through. I enjoy encouraging others to think for themselves. There are many who think for others or who do not feel adequate enough to think for themselves. This is not accurate.
We are each given beautiful amazing gifts and abilities that help us plug into each other. Today, I want to discuss with Derrick why he feels pulled to encourage the world to think for themselves.
Derrick is a Mover. He is a maker. He is a wonderful energy that has been planted within humanity to get and keep us Moving. Let The Movement Begin and let it begin with him! This is where we are making a difference individually together.

Today 6:30p EST: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/themovementwithin/2010/11/22/the-movement-within-radio

Derrick N. Ashong - or DNA as he is sometimes known - is literally the voice of a new generation. Whether heard in the eloquent expression of his thoughts on Senator Barack Obama (as seen in one of the most viewed videos of 2008 on YouTube), in his music (as leader of the emerging band Soulfège), in his lyrics (he won Billboard Magazine's 2007 World Song Writing Competition) or in his acting ability, the Harvard educated talent has found myriad ways to inspire, engage and activate young people with positive messages for social change. DNA is the host of “The Derrick Ashong Experience”, on SIRIUS XM's Oprah Radio. The show airs Saturdays from 12:00-3:00 pm ET on Oprah Radio, XM Channel 156 and SIRIUS Channel 195 and is streamed live on www.OprahRadio.com . Dubbed a “YouTube phenom” by the New York Times, the Ghana, West Africa native has dedicated his life to building bridges between the fields of business, media, technology, youth culture, pop culture and politics. Ashong has lectured on five continents on the use of media as a tool for human development, including recent talks at the London School of Economics, King's College (Cambridge), the Reconciliation Forum in Washington, D.C., the United Nations Alliance of Civilizations and before UK Parliament on the subject of "The Obama Generation." He is a member of the internationally recognized Next Generation Leadership Forum and a participant in the Arts & Entertainment task force of the U.S.-Islamic World Forum. He is also the founder of Take Back the Mic, a youth-centered cultural movement that encourages young people to take leadership in four key areas of life: art, society, business and politics. DNA is also on the Board of Directors for Children Mending Hearts, an organization dedicated to the global arts exchange between at-risk children in the United States and children living in conflict zones around the world. TMW welcomes Derrick to The Movement Within Radio! THIS is time.