Not only was I honored to be there and read from this important book, but this day marked a special point in my career as an author. And what a place it was to do it!
Stonewall is extremely important for me for many reasons. The Stonewall National Museum & Archives is an extraordinary publicly accessible cultural and educational resource that preserves, interprets and shares the remarkable heritage of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. More than that, they serve as an epicenter of enlightenment for our community and have played a significant role in building bridges of cultural understanding in the LGBT community and beyond. The Stonewall National Museum & Archives provides a unique cultural and intellectual alternative in the community and through our collections, programs and services they honor and explore the past while striving to engage, inform and inspire the next generation of our community’s leaders.
So to be honored that Stonewall will house
Goodnight Just The Same is an understatement. The book now sits proudly on the same shelf as Heather Has Two Mommies, Donovan's Big Day, And Tango Makes Three- as well as many others.
Goodnight Just The Same is not only for "gay" families. It truly is for all families. It is a book about family. Period. When I grew up in a "non-traditional" family with divorced parents, I read from children's books. I always felt as if these books carried me away to a place where things were happy, safe and functional- clearly something was wrong with me because my family was not like any of the families in these books. Or so I thought.
For children who are raised in "non-traditional" families, it is important that they know that their family is traditional. Every family is a family. Every dynamic, make-up, structure... wherever that child is, is normal to them. And when the numbers rise, it becomes normal for society as well- whether society likes it or not.
We cannot deny a child because of their family. We are to embrace them and encourage them. Whether a child has one mom, no mom, a grandparent, step-parents, two moms, two dads... and the dynamics continue... this child is to know that they are normal and their family is just as necessary and real as any other family. This is why books like
Goodnight Just The Same are so important. They put every child on the map. And being on the map feels good. Being acknowledged for who we are and where we are feels good. And feeling good is the reason most of us make decisions to do anything at all.
Kids have to be given the room and the support to be. We live in a society where we are constantly told that who and where we are needs to be fixed, tweaked, remodeled, adjusted, changed... what does that really tell us and our children? It tells us that where we are and who we are is not good enough. Children grow up feeling this in school and through their peers. It will happen anyway. This is why it is important to encourage them to feel comfortable and safe in the environment they are in at home. It's okay to not be the "norm" and to know that by doing so, they are now the norm. How great is that!?
This is also not to take away from those who do live in environments that are unsafe and unfit for any child. This is only to make note of those children who go home to whatever family it is that they have and to know that no matter what, the child is what is most important and that all feelings matter.
Writing this book for me has been such a gift. Divorce for any child- or adult- is not always easy. Emotions run rampant and support is mandatory. Adjustments are being made. Change is happening. Having step-parents also creates a new adjustment period. Having no parents also creates thoughts and feelings that need to be supported and explored. Having two moms or two dads also creates the need to have support and acceptance. Children need to feel supported. They, as do adults, have the right to feel and be heard. It is important to feel validated. We cannot be who we are not. We must support who we are and where we are. By doing so will only invest in every child's self-esteem, worthiness and ability to be just as they are. It will also invest in our own.
A family is a family as long as it comes from love. Communication is the driving force behind any family dynamic and relationship. Support and love at home, communicating freely and openly and embracing one another is what creates strong, healthy, confident children. We learn our coping skills at home. We learn how to communicate at home. We are molded from birth- conception- by our home environment and caretakers. Thousands upon thousands of children live on the Earth. All of them have an environment in which they live. However, not all of these children know how perfectly necessary and beautiful they are. A small percentage- and this includes children in homes of both moms and dads together- are actually acclimated, confident, safe, sure and happy in who they are and the family they are in. How can a child face the world wholeheartedly when the world tells them that they aren't part of the puzzle?
Everything is as normal as we make it.
And to the Moon, EVERY family is tucked in Just The Same.
Thank you to Stonewall National Museum and Archives, Nate Klarfeld and Bryan Knicely for giving me and my book this experience. Thank you to my talented illustrator, Diane Koziol Krueger. Thank you to my editor, Marissa Cohen. And thank you to my family... My parents, siblings, my supportive and appreciated partner and my strong and beautiful daugther. Thank you for making me feel normal- just as I am.
